just not the same...

I did something today that I haven't done for about a year. The ritualistic working on Sunday, followed by a stop at Bread Co to pick up lunch. After my father died 5 years ago, whenever I would work on Sunday, I'd call up my mom on the way home and ask if she wanted me to pick up lunch from Bread Co. Her answer would always be, "Do they have black bean soup?" Yes, that was one of the selections of the day. So, we'd have a late lunch together, sitting in front of the television, watching some sort of Lifetime movie--or the baseball game.

Today was different. Just not as exciting eating the lunch as it used to be. It's been almost a year since my mom was last at home. I can still see in my mind, those lunches with my mom, watching her savor her bowl of black bean soup. One of the little things she enjoyed, and one of the things I didn't mind doing for her, even when I had to park down the street and then go stand in line and wait for our order. That was a tradition. I hope they don't ever stop selling that black bean soup. It's one of my favorites, too.

"I miss thee, my Mother! Thy image is still the deepest impressed on my heart."

~Eliza Cook

2010

AKEMASHITE OMEDETO GOZAIMASU

❀HAPPY NEW YEAR❀

❤

I should have spent the weeks prior to Omikosa (the day of New Year's Eve) cleaning the house. This is done to get rid of the dirt from the passing year and to welcome the New Year with a fresh and peaceful mind. Unfortunately, most of December was spent in the chaos of work, spending too many hours pulled in various directions, trying get the processes down for a smooth transition of the joint venture into the New Year. This left me totally exhausted, which I think set me up for a nasty cold to close the season. It is this cold that has blown away my nights, leaving me with barely enough energy to pass through dinner, on to an unavoidable nap, and then lying awake in bed from the hours of eleven to about three in the morning.

New Year's morning used to be a tradition in my family. Gathering and eating Ozoni for breakfast and then making sushi for a family open house. The family open house was a hit with all of my parents' friends. People would even call if they didn't get an invitation to see, if by chance, their invitation got lost in the mail or whether my parents were even having an open house. Thus, my parents were never able to decrease the size of the gathering of well-wishers, which would leave my whole family totally exhausted from cooking, cleaning, and serving the whole afternoon into the darkness of the night. People would even brave the ice storms or deep snowfall for a meal. Since my father died in 2005, the tradition slowly grew smaller, with just family and a few close friends coming over. With my mother being sick from her cancer, there was no New Year's party of 2009.

This year, with just me being in the house, barely a notice that the New Year has arrived, for the house is a mess, and I had to work this morning, leaving me with no desire to do more than defrost some frozen chili for dinner.

One thing that I did muster enough energy to do after work on this freezing day, was to go to the art museum to see an exhibit titled Five Centuries of Japanese Screens, which is about to close in a couple of days after a three month run. Amazingy huge screens (byobu) hand painted with various scenes filled a few showrooms. I definitely enjoyed the pre-modern displays, but not as fond of the contemporary art pieces in the exhibit. Wandering through the small rooms, although spotted with other people viewing, left me with a kind of a serene peaceful feeling. Enough to forget about the cold of the outside--until I actually took a step out of the building to go home.

In the photo below, is a screen that has hung on the living room wall of the house in which I was raised, and now am currently living. Never a thought went through my mind to ever really look at it, but I thought it would be a perfect photo to include with this entry. No quote for the photo. Just wishes for happiness and good health throughout the New Year.